WETWARE

$WETWARE

You outsourced your brain to a robot. This is the coin for what's left.

86 billion parameters. Runs on sandwiches. Cannot remember its own postcode.

BUY $WETWARE
contract address drops at launch
0%
bought by the team.
No bundle, no dev buy.
100%
of liquidity locked
permanently. Can't be pulled.
99%
fee on snipers in the
opening seconds.
200M
fixed supply. Minting
switched off at launch.
0
tax when you sell.
You're never locked.
Built bya quantnot a guy with
a Canva account

PUBLISHED RESEARCH Crypto market microstructure and order-book modelling. HFT A career building systems that race for fills in microseconds. OXFORD MSC CS MSC FIN ENG LBS MBA

Which matters for exactly one thing. Sniping is a speed race, and the defences here were derived from published work on that problem rather than copied from a launchpad's default settings. Buying in the first seconds costs 99%, over a window that is randomised and hash-committed so bots can't time it. Measured on a live pool: waiting got 3.4× more tokens for the same money. The detail →

Diagnostics

Cognitive decline, charted

Roughly half of web traffic is bots. Around two-thirds of X accounts are likely automated. Over half of long-form posts on LinkedIn are machine-written. Here is what that did to you specifically.

Plate II · Comparative benchmark
Wetware vs. Inference

Head-to-head, standardised conditions.

Tokens per secondcatastrophic loss
Recall of own passwordshumiliating
Working without sleepnot close
Knowing when it's wrongdecisive
Being funny on purposenot close
Tasting souptotal victory
InferenceWetware

Lost 3 of 6. Won the ones with a body attached.

Plate III · Verification
Prove you're human

Select all squares containing an original thought.

"Let's unpack this"
"In today's fast-paced world"
🚀 to the moon
"Great question!"
a smudge
"It's not X — it's Y"
"Game changer"
em — dash
"Thoughts? 👇"

Tap the squares. Take your time. Nobody's timing you. Probably.

Plate IV · Dependency index
AI reliance meter

Measured across the general population, 2019 → today.

0%
201920222024NOW
2019Wrote own emails. Badly. Proudly.
2022Started asking it to "make this more professional".
2024Asked it what to have for dinner.
2026Asked it whether you're still funny. It said yes.

It was being polite. That's the whole problem.

None of this is generated. A human made every bit of it, badly, on purpose. That's tenet one.

Buy & sell

Swap right here

Connect Phantom, Solflare, Backpack, Coinbase Wallet or any WalletConnect wallet. Routed through Jupiter, which aggregates every Solana DEX — you always get the best available price. Works in both directions.

🧠

Not launched yet

The swap widget goes live the moment the contract address is published.
No presale. No allowlist. No "send SOL and I'll send tokens."

Never bought a coin before?

Buying · about 60 seconds
  1. Install Phantom — browser extension or phone app. Write the recovery phrase on paper. Not a photo, not your notes app.
  2. Get some SOL. Buy it with a card inside Phantom, or send SOL from any exchange.
  3. Hit Connect on the widget, pick your wallet, approve.
  4. Enter an amount and swap. Fees are a fraction of a penny and it settles in about a second.

Selling

Same widget, other direction
  1. Press the ↓ flip arrow so WETWARE is on top and SOL is below.
  2. Enter how much to sell. MAX sells the lot.
  3. Check the price impact. On a thin pool a large sell moves the price against you — split it up if that number looks bad.
  4. Swap, approve, done. SOL lands back in your wallet immediately.

Never bought crypto at all? You need SOL first. Get it with a debit card straight inside Phantom (takes about two minutes), or from any exchange. Then come back and use the box on the left.

Or buy it anywhere else

The coin is on every Solana app automatically — nothing to install
Jupiter ↗The main Solana exchange Phantom ↗Swap inside the wallet Axiom ↗Trader terminal DexScreener ↗Chart and swap GMGN ↗Terminal and bot Birdeye ↗Charts and data

Can't see it in your wallet?

Paste the contract address below into your wallet's "add token" or "import token" box. Works in Phantom, Solflare, Backpack, Trust Wallet and MetaMask — MetaMask has supported Solana natively since 2025, so SPL tokens sit alongside your Ethereum ones.

contract address drops at launch
Copycats are guaranteed. Tokens with this exact name and logo will appear within minutes of launch. Only ever use the contract address from this page or the pinned post. Nobody from this project will ever DM you first, and there is never anything to "claim".
Live market

Chart

Straight from GeckoTerminal — the same on-chain data every terminal reads. Nothing here is curated.

The chart appears automatically once the pool is live.
Also on DexScreener, Birdeye, Axiom, Photon, BullX and GMGN from minute one.
Tokenomics

200,000,000. Fixed forever.

Mint authority is revoked at launch, so this number can never increase. No inflation, no "governance-approved emissions", no second round.

Public 60% Liquidity 12% Founder 25% (locked) Treasury 3% (locked)
AllocationTokens%
Public — bonding curveOpen to anyone. No whitelist, no presale.120,000,00060%
Migration liquiditySeeds the pool. Permanently locked.24,000,00012%
Founder1-month cliff, then ~68,400/day for 24 months. Nothing liquid at launch.50,000,00025%
Community treasuryMultisig. 3-month cliff, 12-month linear.6,000,0003%
Bought by the team at launchNo bundle. No dev buy. No seed wallets.00%

On the founder's 25%: it is held by Jupiter's Locker program and released in daily instalments over two years — not by a promise, by a contract. There is no button that releases it early. Roughly the same shape as Hyperliquid, whose core contributors hold 23.8% behind a cliff.

How the project makes money

Every buy and every sell pays about 1%. Most of that comes back to the project as SOL, for as long as anyone trades. Collecting it never involves selling a token.

someone trades
  │
  └─▸ ~1% fee, paid in SOL
        │
        ├─▸ 50%  →  buyback & burn
        │            supply falls, hash published weekly
        │
        └─▸ 50%  →  treasury multisig
                     bounties · events · runway

This is what lets the founder's tokens stay locked for two years. The project is funded by people trading, so ten quiet years pay better than one good week.

The burn half is BONK's model — fee-funded buyback-and-burn, which has removed over 15 trillion tokens from its supply — pointed at 200 million instead of 100 trillion, so a burn reads as a visible percentage rather than a rounding error. Every burn publishes its transaction hash, including in the weeks when the numbers are bad.

If you buy

You can sell whenever you want.

No lock. No cooldown. No maximum wallet size. No extra tax for selling. Buy and sell in the same minute if you feel like it — the fee is the same either way, about 1%.

  • No restrictions of any kind on your tokens
  • Same fee to buy or to sell
  • Tradeable on every Solana exchange at once
The founder

Is on a two-year drip.

25% of supply, held by a contract that releases roughly 68,400 tokens a day for two years. Nothing at launch. The contract has no early-release button in it.

  • Bought zero at launch
  • Liquidity locked permanently — it can't be pulled
  • Supply fixed forever — no new tokens, ever

The most common way people lose money on a meme coin is the team selling everything into them. That route is closed here for two years, and it's closed by a contract rather than by anyone's word.

Roadmap

The roadmap

1 · Launch

Curve opens. Minting switched off in the same transaction. Snipers pay 99% for the privilege.

2 · Graduate

Curve fills, liquidity locks forever. Live on every Solana exchange at once.

3 · Burn

Trading fees buy the coin back and burn it. Every week. Hash posted every time.

4 · Post

A meme a day. Stickers. A meetup. Touch grass, then post about it.

5 · ???

The part nobody controls. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.

6 · Wetware

Still here. Still analog. Still cannot remember its own postcode.

Who built it

A quant who publishes on exactly this problem.

Most meme coins launch on a launchpad's default settings and hope. The protections on this one came out of peer-reviewed research on crypto market microstructure and order-book modelling, which is the field that decides whether a launch survives its first block.

Peer-reviewed research

Crypto market microstructure, order-book modelling, advanced probability theory.

High-frequency trading

A career building systems that race for fills in microseconds. Sniping is the same race.

MSc Computer Science

University of Oxford.

MSc Financial Engineering

Plus an MBA from London Business School.

Where it shows. The fee decay window is randomised and its length committed as a hash beforehand, so bots can't work out which block to buy in. The window is counted in one-second periods, because doing that arithmetic the other way rounds it back to a fixed number and quietly undoes the randomisation. Details like that decide whether a launch gets stolen.

Where it doesn't. No paper predicts whether a meme catches on. That's attention, timing and luck. The research buys a launch that doesn't get robbed in its first block. The joke has to do the rest.

Pseudonymous, same as Bitcoin and dogwifhat. Every project wallet is published before launch and the founder's tokens are locked on-chain, so none of this needs taking on trust.

FAQ

Reasonable questions

Is this a scam?

It's a meme coin, which means it has no intrinsic value and might well go to zero — that's true of every one of them, including the ones that went up a hundred times first. What we can rule out mechanically: the supply can't be inflated, your wallet can't be frozen, the liquidity can't be pulled, and nobody bought a bag before you did. All four are verifiable above, using tools we have no control over.

The founder holds 25%. Why should I be fine with that?

You don't have to be — but check what "holds" means here. The tokens sit in Jupiter's Locker contract and come out at roughly 68,400 a day over two years, starting a month after the pool graduates. There is no early-release button. The founder cannot dump on you because the contract will not let them, and you can verify that in one click rather than taking anyone's word for it. For context, Hyperliquid's core contributors hold 23.8% behind a cliff, and it was the most successful launch of the last cycle.

Am I locked too? Can I sell whenever I want?

You are not locked in any way. Tokens you buy have no lock, no cooldown, no maximum wallet size and no extra tax for selling. Buy and sell in the same minute if you want — the fee is about 1% in either direction, same as buying. The only supply on a schedule is supply that was never sold to anyone: the founder's allocation, the treasury, and the liquidity. You keep every way out, for two years longer than the founder does.

How does the project make money if the team never sells?

Trading fees. Every buy and sell pays about 1%, and most of that returns to the project as SOL — continuously, for as long as anyone trades, without a single token being sold. Half funds the buyback-and-burn, half funds the treasury. It's the reason the founder's tokens can stay locked for two years: the project is funded by volume, so it earns more from ten quiet years than from one good week. If nobody trades, it earns nothing — which is the correct incentive.

Why is the builder anonymous?

Because a name adds nothing you can verify. Bitcoin's creator is anonymous; so is dogwifhat's. What actually protects you is locked tokens, revoked authorities and a clean on-chain record — all published and checkable. A doxxed founder with an unlocked bag is strictly worse than an anonymous one whose allocation is locked for three years.

What stops bots from buying everything in the first block?

Buys open at a 99% fee that decays to 1% over a window randomised between 90 and 180 seconds. The exact length is committed as a hash beforehand and revealed afterwards, so it's verifiable but not predictable — a bot can't compute where sniping becomes profitable. On top of that, fees scale with order size for the first ten minutes, so large clips are punished specifically.

Why not launch on pump.fun?

Fixed one billion supply and a fixed curve — no control over either. We wanted 200 million and a configurable anti-sniper stack, which is what Meteora's Dynamic Bonding Curve provides. Also worth knowing: under 2% of pump.fun tokens ever complete their curve.

How do you make money if you're not selling tokens?

Trading fees. Meteora takes 20% of every trading fee; the remaining 80% routes to the project, and it keeps accruing on permanently locked liquidity. Half funds buybacks and burns, half funds the treasury. The project earns from sustained volume over years and structurally can't earn by dumping on holders.

Will it be on Binance / Coinbase / Robinhood?

No idea, and anyone who promises you a listing is lying. We won't pay a listing fee — an exchange charging for one is selling access to liquidity it doesn't have. BONK, WIF, PEPE, PENGU and POPCAT all reached major exchanges by producing real volume until the exchanges came to them.

Is there a presale? Can I send SOL to reserve some?

No, and never send SOL to anyone claiming otherwise — that is definitionally a scam, whoever appears to be asking. Everything happens on-chain through the bonding curve. Nobody on this project takes custody of your money at any point.

What actually gives it value?

Nothing, in the sense you mean. The same nothing that underpins every meme coin. What it has instead is a fixed supply, a mechanical buyback funded by fees rather than by new buyers, verifiable launch mechanics, and a narrative people might want to belong to. Whether that's worth anything is entirely down to whether other people decide it is.